Five years since I recorded this song. How time flies. It’s funny that I still get random “pranks” as some friends sing the line “Farewell… So long…” complete with facial expression when they see me. I guess that’s their way of saying they like the song (very much).
We all seem to like love songs. We all seem to like breakup songs. And as I have said many times before, Swan Song (Farewell) is my ode to a love affair that ended the wrong way. It’s interesting that beautiful music could be produced by painful experiences (that I fondly call negative inspiration). Enough inspiration to write 4 completely different versions that made up the EP dubbed Swans (instead of Swan Songs that sounded strange).
The lyrics came from an old poem titled Farewell. The melody, I just built on two chords for years of random keyboard and piano playing until I completed the structure. But there’s probably a reference to an obscure New Order song and guitars from The Cure.
You may have heard of the myth of the swan song (or swansong). The legend says that, while they are mute during the rest of their lives, swans sing beautifully and mournfully just before they die. Some perfect symbolism for a love that died, turned to song.
50 CDs were given away after the listening party at Cubao X back in November 2006. Also remember being real happy that night because I was with someone special.
For your free download, please grab Swans here. (You will be asked to log in or register.)
Summary of the past 2 or so weeks: Think, think and think again.
A clash of ideas lead me to do extensive thinking and self-critique. It also brought back into mind issues and events that I reacted to in a similar way. This had something to do with a video campaign that was organized in reaction to the COMELEC decision disqualifying a political group on grounds of immorality and a threat to youth. (The decision was overruled by the Supreme Court pending review. The group is technically allowed to run now.)
For weeks these questions kept running in my head:
- Did I go too far?
- What am I doing wrong or am I doing enough?
- Am I too sensitive or am I just intolerant?
Maybe I chose the wrong words. Maybe they read it wrong. Maybe I was insensitive. Maybe they were too sensitive. Where were we all coming from? I am not expecting to answer them now, if at all.
I went to the extent of letting neutral parties read the transcript via email asking them to be as honest as possible in their analysis of what transpired. It was too late that I realized that the name of one poster showed. I admire one of them for staying impartial even though she knew that person. It also included someone who participated in the video campaign and she shared her views about the whole thing and how the videos were directed/produced. Even thanked me for asking her opinion.
Also after attending the national convention of the political group, I discussed this with peers to get a different dynamic compared to email. They said that it’s really hard to settle differing opinions and management approaches in a group especially if it’s made up of creative people because everyone is so passionate. They all suggested that it should be discussed since it was a misunderstanding between friends.
However there lies another problem. This particular issue aside, I feel we have reached another deadlock in the group. It has lead me to question whether it’s really worth continuing this dream advocacy with them. Do I just ignore my gut feeling but continue to be stressed about it? Do I bring it to their attention and add further to their ire? Am I projecting my ideas to the group? Am I expecting too much from them? Have we learned anything first time around?
Sometimes I think I would have been better off staying recluse. Dealing with people brings my pet peeves to the forefront.
I started working on this cover probably around 2004 and finished it some time 2005. I first heard this during The Late Isabel’s Doll’s Head album private party when Libby Borjal (who went by Eudoxia Vervain) performed it on stage.
BTW, today’s her birthday. Happy Birthday Libby!
I liked the chord progression and decided initially to “remix” it but ended up doing a completely different version. I sampled the electric piano intro and a line she sang and fed it into my software sequencer; programmed a couple interesting beats; plugged my MIDI keyboard and doodled with random chord washes; changed the lyrics a bit to fit the rhythm; and finally recorded the vocals. It’s my failed attempt at drum-n-bass. Haha.
Please grab the track here: Fallen Star MP3. (You will be asked to register to get the free MP3.)
When you said “I want you to be happy” and “I love you” I wanted to scold you. If you really knew what you were saying, you would have chosen to stay and become my lover.
These times are real stressful to me and I was wishing things outside my immediate vicinity would be more positive to balance things off. Unfortunately outside circumstances further complicate the way I feel.
I’ve seen this before and I have been clear about not liking it. I even “left” the group as a result. But I decided to come back hoping things to be better the second time. At the moment, things don’t look any better as I see people being ostracized again.
It really saddens me.
